Blog is Changing!

So, My blog is going to be under construction. I've decided that I don't like my layout, so change is coming. Although I know very little about web stuff... Only super basic coding. But I'll figure it out and it'll change probably over the course of the week. I'm hoping the improvement won't put me to sleep every time I visit my own blog. (:

Criticism

I was thinking about criticism and its overall effect on the state of the universe. I've discovered that there is more than one kind. Basically, there are two kinds: the helpful kind that lets you know you're doing something wrong, and the BS jerks write about people's stuff just because they didn't like it. It may just be me, but I think that criticism should focus on the WORK! I've read and heard about a lot of critics who actually attack the writer or artist in their critiques. That's just rude. And wrong and hurtful. Not everybody likes the same things. So obviously, if you don't like somebody's stuff and have a loud opinion about it, great. Go for it. But leave the artist/writer out of it. There's been too much of this going around in politics too. Attacking the personal lives of people for one mistake or just because they don't like them. It's awful. I read a post by Mrs. Paul, who is a fellow writer and blogger. She said that it's best to ignore most criticism, good and bad, because chances are, everybody's wrong about your stuff. It might not be great, but it might not be terrible. Great advice! Never read reviews of your own work unless it's from people you know or trust to be helpful.
I read a book review today for 'Idlewild' by Nick Sagan. On amazon.com, people rate the book from 5 stars to 1 star. The star count was pretty equal fives against ones and twos. And just about everything that the five people said was great about the book, the ones and twos said was terrible. So... what the heck? Makes no sense, you say? Everyone is going to see things differently. And that sucks sometimes, but variety is the spice of life. (I think that's how it goes...)
My opinion: Criticism is vastly overrated.

Nothin' but Words

Okay... word count up to 79,239. My computer has slowed down just enough for me to want to kill it. Frustrating!
Stupid Vista. The memory keeps getting sucked away, although I haven't done much at all. So now I have to do a major cleanup, which means backing up all my word files. All 62 of them. And all my photos. But my home computer had a major crash a few months ago and everything was wiped, so I'm not taking any chances. Triple safety nets. 0_o'
Back to the point, I have a final battle to write and my poor characters had better be ready for the chaos. I hope I'm ready too. I think I've got everything in place. The kinks can be smoothed out later on when I'm in edit mode. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to edit your story before you finish it...? sometimes when I do I lose perspective. I can't look objectively at my story while wanting it to be good(AKA, when I'm actually writing). It just doesn't seem to coincide well. But there's always time for that later. I just need to make sure things add up right and tie all the loose ends up. Which is a pain because often I forget how many strings are really tied on to my story. Thankfully, my subconscious seems to know how to set things up from the beginning so that everything works out in the end. *thanks subconscious*
The hardest part is wondering what the heck to do with an extra bit of story you don't need. Get rid of it, I suppose; always a heartache. But it's best to think of the story. I've been running into the problem a lot lately and I guess I might not have found a place for the extra bulk just yet... Maybe I will later on? But if not, I guess I'll throw a funeral for those poor pieces that just don't belong.

Sheesh

Life is so hard sometimes. What's the good in the world anyway? People? Love? The promise of a new day? Don't think so. Honestly, I live for whatever new world I can find. Nothing more. If I could live forever in a different land, I think I would. I'm so sick of being called 'different' (in the bad way). Even if it's just coming from my own head. What's so great about being a clone like everyone else anyway? Nothing! there's hardly such a thing as 'normal' anyway. Why are people so stupid sometimes!! Gah! Sheesh. I'm going to bed.

Thinking and Writing

I really wish I had a picture to go with my story. It would help me visualize it. I know, writers are supposed to visualize on their own, but I can't always see what I need to see. It's harder to describe a dragon than a cat. I wonder if there's some kind of book full of full-color photos of just a bunch of random amazing places. Probably. There's a book about everything. I still haven't thought of a title either. No big deal, but I would like to be able to tell people what it's called when I tell them about it. Oh, well. I'm still waiting to near news from my first novel, but so far nothing. It's been months since I've heard from them. My publishers are kind of... detached. They never tell me anything. It took them months to send me back a reply for questions. Urgh. Patience is a virtue. Not that it makes it easy. No way. But it must be done. Just like finishing a story.

I think it's a writer...?

Well, if there's one thing I've learned about writing, it's to just Go! Go! Go! Don't stop no matter what! Fill out every thought that crosses your mind, then when the time is right, just take away what doesn't need to be there. Or free writes too, in which case nothing needs to be taken away, changed, or even edited. It's wonderful! It never makes any sense, but it's wonderful all the same.
I'm still so hesitant to let people read my stuff though... Artists Modesty Syndrome? Dunno. I was having a problem like that with a client who wanted a poster design for the play he wrote. I had his name below the title but he wanted it smaller. And in a corner. And the same color as the background. Well, needless to say, I didn't give him that much leniency. But I think a lot of people are like that. I don't mind taking some credit with my art, but writing is a whole other story. Pardon the pun.
I don't know if that's being scared of judgement or scared of rejection. Both, maybe? Everyone wants to feel at least somewhat excepted in the world. The fear of putting ourselves out there and getting shot down is a common one. Sadly enough, I've heard from other writers that critics so nothing for you. Unless their criticism is valid, which it usually isn't. People's separate opinions won't help your writing improve. Even when you get good comments, and some people say your stuff is great while others say it stinks, I've heard to ignore it all. Because chances are, you'll be different to everyone. The only opinion that matters is your own. Well, that's not always helpful either, since writers tend to hate their own work sometimes. But it's better than false criticism or false praise.

Another day, really?

Today, I had to finish a project for my internship, and I only had two hours to do it. So had I to pick out the photos I wanted to use, clean them up, place them all in, adjust them, and put a gradient on one that was giving me so much trouble!
And it didn't help that my computer decided to be extra slow. I can imagine what it would say if it could talk. "Ooooh, a deadline; I think I'll hinder her progress by working at 12%."
Stupid Mac.
But it's done now and it looks great. Hurray. Now if I could just finish my story. I'm rounding it's progress up to 75%, but a case of the 'I'm not good enough' has struck me so I think I'll just edit. Just hide in my closet and edit things and when people come by they can wonder where I've gone. Anyway, such is life. I guess.

I'd rather...

Me-"Okay, what should I do today?"
Friend-"Write"
Me-"I think I'll play video games"
Friend-"Go write, or I'll destroy all the sugar in your house."
Me-"*gasp*! That reminds me, I need to buy more sugar!"
Friend-"Arrh."
Me-"Maybe I'll watch TV"
Friend-"Write!"
Me-"Uhhh..."
Friend-"Now"
Me-"Never!"
I run away.
Procrastination... A terrible disease cured only by a friend slapping you with a soggy noodle. For three hours. Don't do it! It's bad for you're health!
I'd rather watch TV.

Random Ranting

Ah, hardships... aren't they wonderful? I got a good idea for a story yesterday, but I'll put my new ideas aside for now to write my main story. Writing is hard enough without distraction. In fact, I've found that I actually prefer to write at 11:00 pm to 1:00 in the morning, which is hard to keep up when I have school to get to the next day. Ah, well. It'll work out.
Most people find a lot of cool music to listen to while they write... me, I just find some songs I really love and then end up playing them over and over again until the song is so firmly stuck in my head that I hear it all night and into the morning. Right now, I'm stuck on a song that I just love! It's called Gotta Be Somebody by Nickelback. I found a really cool Final Fantasy AMV on Youtube with this song and it is just AWESOME!!! Somehow, if you take a worn out song and add an AMV to it, it makes it instantly twenty times the song it once was. Freaky, huh? But the new story inside the song just revitalizes my enjoyment of the song.
Anything with Final Fantasy is usually pretty good. I really want to make a movie or series for a Final Fantasy 7 story one day. All the characters are so in depth and relatable. I'm going to aim for that in my story too. All character have their own story, even the minors. That's not to say they ever get their moment to shine, but maybe it will just give them that little something in their small moment of glory.

Just Another Road Block

Well, you know when you're in bad shape when you're glad for bad news. I'm just about to undertake a heck of a challenge. At the risk of losing my health forever, I've resigned to surrendering a great many of my favorite foods in an attempt to combat allergies that I never knew I had. I guess I'm searching for some encouragement. Whether I can get it in this virtual dimension or not, I'm going to give it a try.
I just don't know what I'm going to do. So much to change, and not nearly enough tolerance to make it. I hope this works. "Take a breath, take a leap, no matter which way this goes, it's worth holding on to."

Ah... Reading, Writing, and the Undead

Reading, such a wonderful thing! You can go on whatever adventure you want, make friends(or enemies) with all the characters. It's so much fun, I don't understand why some people don't like to do it.
I guess I'm just a dreamer; I like to spend at least half my time in a different world. This little one I live in now is so exhausting. Writing is bliss, a gift from heaven. What better place to spend my free time? Except maybe at the bookstore. I don't even have to read the books to enjoy myself. I think I just like the concept of books in general. They're well designed(usually), they're made of paper, and they can be organized so nicely on a shelf. If you've seen Beauty and the Beast(you should have), you know how the castle has that amazing library? That's what I want to have one day. Forget the house. Just give me a giant library with a cot or something. I'll be happy.
Although, I'm starting to get concerned about the number of vampire books out. The Target store I go to used to have a Teen section. Now it's the Vampire section. Reds, blacks, and ice blues as far as the eye can see. I think the Undead theme is in. Once it was monkeys, then penguins, now the undead. I've noticed an incline in zombie games too; though I'm not complaining because those are fun. Anyway, if it's not vampires, it's werewolves and zombies and all manner of creatures of the night. There's a lot of dragon themed books too. I love dragons, although I haven't read a lot of them that were spectacular. I think I'll write a story about phoenixes. How often is that done? Maybe I'll just stick to what I'm doing right now. Although, I can't wait to write a comedy. A zombie parody...? Maybe!