Short Story - Part 3

SHORT STORY UPDATE!!! This is my comic relief for the day.

Fweeeet. Fweeeet. Stay quiet. Listen. You hear that whistling? That’s a bad omen right there. We should hurry and find more shelter. If we don’t we won’t survive! And I would very much like to survive! There are so many things I haven’t yet eaten! There are so many people I haven’t yet teased! And I haven’t even been to Disney Land yet! This upsets me so. But never mind your problems. We must continue on. We must find the EEE!
I’m so sorry. I would feel just awful if you were to be frightened or saddened by the misfortune that may (and probably will) come upon you due to my lack of attention for danger. And I am sorry that you are too weak and imprudent to find your own way out of the predicament you have put yourself into by coming to Digilo. I just want you to know that I will try my very best to not let you get eaten by vicious monsters or lost in a terrible and dark place. I promise to look out for your well-being and put your needs before my own. It is for this reason, the fact that I am turning over a new leaf, that I am honest and sincere when I suggest that you should be the one to go into that deep, shadowy, and frightening cave first. Trust that I am only looking out for you. Know that if I were to go in first, I might suddenly fall through the floor or get eaten by a creature and then you would be all alone in this horrid place without your devoted and compassionate guide to help you.
Fweeet. Well, hurry up! Go ahead in! Don’t you hear that whistling? Again? It means something sinister is coming this way. We will most assuredly be safe inside this cavern. Go go go!
See? It’s not so bad once you get used to the constant fear of having something lurking behind you. It’s actually quite peaceful now. Hey, why are we always finding caves to hide in? Why can’t you pick a nice garden or restaurant or something to hide in? Caves are so cliché. And they are way overused in monster movies. I always prefer a good comedy myself. How about you? Nah, forget you. I know! We should do something unexpected; something out of the ordinary since we’re already stretching it with the cave cliché. Let’s run outside screaming like banshees and see what happens! That’s new. That’s interesting. Have you ever known monster movie characters to do that? I think not! Hmm. On second thought, we might get ticketed for disturbing the peace. Let’s just sneak quietly outside and fade into the shadows of the night. That sounds cool, huh?
Oh, wait… do you hear that? That’s not the whistle. I’m going to look outside. Uh… Wow.
Uh-oh. The sky is raining fire! Get down! Head back into the cave! It’s a meteorite shower! The forecast said it would be clear tonight. LIES! If we make it out alive, I’m calling in a complaint.

I interrupt this story (again) because it’s fun to do so—I mean it’s for an emergency! Attention residents of Digilo! We are now under a “meteor” warning. Please stay inside and cower under your beds or cots or cardboard boxes. Do not go outside. I repeat, do not go outside for anything. Partaking of last meals would be a good idea. The meteors are flaming and dangerous. Very, very hot. No touching the flaming space rock.
…
Okay, the shower is over. It is now safe to traverse the outside world—no, I lied! It’s not safe. Not safe. Okay, now it’s safe. Have a nice day.

Well, you heard my forecast report. It’s safe. Let’s go! Outside into the outside place outside. Now would be a good time to search for the EEE. Or we could look for the ever elusive exit key. The EEEK. I bet if we found a key to the exit, we could find the exit and exit the exit and all will be well with the world. What do you think? Oh, watch out for that meteor. Hey, what’s that? No, not the three headed gargoyle. That red light way over there. Is that the exit? The EEE!? Let’s go check it out!

to be continued...